


I am sorry

by KillerBlackRose



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I AM SORRY, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 21:21:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9922643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerBlackRose/pseuds/KillerBlackRose
Summary: "Love always, Lena"





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lena's Dramatic Hoes](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Lena%27s+Dramatic+Hoes).



Kara woke up one morning and everything was totally normal. She could hear the birds chirping and could see the beautiful rays of the very sun that gave her strength coming through the windows. She got out of bed and switched on the tv to listen to the morning news while making herself some breakfast for a beautiful day. 

She was thinking of going to visit Lena 'cause its been a few days since she last saw her but her thoughts were interrupted by what the news anchor said.

"CEO of L-Corp Lena Luthor found dead in her office." "No cause of death released yet."

All it took was those ten words for Kara's world to stop spinning and jumpstart suddenly. She felt dizzy and was hyperventilating so she grabbed on the closest thing she could find. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. She thought to herself just like how Alex taught her all those years ago when she felt the world closing in on her.

After five minutes, the shock and panic began to fade so she sped to her room and changed into her super suit to fly straight to L-Corp. She wanted to see for herself if it was true. She didn't want to believe it but a part of her already knew it was.

Kara could see police cars at the main entrance from above, she landed on the balcony like every time she came to see Lena. She knocked on the glass door even though she could see the office was empty and entered. The office lacked the warm feeling it had whenever Lena was there. Although, it looked exactly the same way it always was; like Lena just left the office for a couple minutes and would come back to see Kara standing there giving her that beautiful smile that could light a million light bulbs. Except, this wasn't like every other time.

She noticed a white envelope on Lena's desk and immediately recognized her name in Lena's beautiful handwriting. Kara Danvers. Two words, one name. She picked up the letter and went over to sit on the same couch they both sat on many times before talking about everything and nothing, sharing stories and being there for each other.

Kara loved Lena. Kara loves Lena. But she never had the courage to tell her. Didn't want to ruin their friendship knowing how much it means to Lena to have a friend. Kara was her only friend and telling Lena her feelings might ruin that if she didn't feel the same way.

She opened the letter and saw that it wasn't written in the beautiful handwriting like on the envelope, it was written in distress and haste. A few dried up tears here and there. She didn't know what this letter held but she knew it would break her.

"Dear Kara,

I don't know how to tell you this. How do you tell someone you love that you want to end your life? How do you tell someone that you don't deserve to live anymore? How do you tell someone you can't go on? 

I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I ever brought you pain. I'm sorry I don't deserve your kindness. I'm sorry I let you waste your time on a broken soul like mine. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I love you. I'm sorry I didn't kiss you every single second I was with you. I'm sorry I'm useless. I'm sorry I'm ungrateful. I'm sorry I'm a useless ungrateful idiot that doesn't deserve to live anymore. I'm sorry I want to give up. I'm sorry I'm scared. I'm sorry I'm leaving you. 

All I want to do is give up. But it's so scary because I will leave you. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to cause you pain. I just can't take it anymore. I wish I can stay though. I wish I can get over it but I am so so scared. Scared of what will happen when I stay. Scared of the unknown. Not knowing scares me terribly. Nothing is definite except for death. 

All I can feel is scared and nothing else. I feel nothing inside. The numbness is getting stronger. The emptiness is eating me inside out. I WANT TO FEEL SOMETHING. Physical pain only helps sometimes. Damn it, why am I stupid? Why am I making a big deal out of nothing? 

It's overwhelming. I don't matter. This doesn't matter. I am thankful for everything you did for me but I don't deserve any of it. I am only going to disappoint you in the end. I am a disgrace, a disappointment and that is why I don't deserve to live. I wish I can do it though. I hate this. I hate myself. 

I deserve this.  
I love you.  
I am sorry. 

Love always, Lena"

One letter is all it took for Kara to collapse on that couch. To feel the world ending. To feel the walls of the office closing in on her. She stood up abruptly, crumbled the paper in her fist and surged through the window shattering the glass still holding on to the last thing of Lena she had. 

She flew in the sky as fast as she could, feeling every single cell in her body moving but also feeling numbness. She felt broken. She won't get to see that smile anymore. She won't get to look into the endless skies that were held in green eyes anymore. She won't get to feel her soft warm hands when their hands touched accidentally anymore. She won't get to feel Lena's soft lips on hers at least once. 

Kara could feel the rays of sunshine on her skin but it didn't give her strength anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I really am sorry.
> 
> Hit me up on Tumblr Killerblackrose28  
> or twitter @KillerBlxckRose


End file.
